For the most part I am not in the advice giving business. My day job is one in which what I do helps my clients to understand themselves better. That’s my job. NO advice really – a suggestion here or there but just that a suggestion. However, when I expanded and found an online voice I found that this “self help” category can be a little more advice focused than I am used too.
My mission is to get you to question and expand so as I began to write and explore this part of myself - this behind the screen writer-I found myself looking deeper and deeper into myself and my own patterns.
As I have said in the very recent past repetition is necessary to learn and grow but often there are maladaptive patterns that emerge that no longer serve us. When we are confronted with these patterns the discomfort can be absolutely disgusting. Making the change to move forward can be terrifying even when you know that change is exactly what you need.
This month I am moving. Not far, only about 5 miles from my current apartment. As I get ready to move – to a different borough – a different neighborhood – a different subway line. I am getting ready to make a lifestyle upgrade, that if you asked me a year ago, I didn’t think I could maintain. I am pulling my big girl pants up!
There are a lot of memories wrapped up in my current apartment. I’ve been here for 14 years. I have completely overhauled my life in the past 14 years. This apartment has afforded me the opportunity to see the world, create a business or two, and the walls have held up during some serious heart break and now it is time to break free.
These walls also have help to keep me identified to a part of myself that no longer serves me. I’ve allowed it. I could have moved at any time. It took the internal work that I have done over this period to allow myself to be free. Don’t get me wrong I have done a great job in this space as far as pulling it together and making it a home but I am getting ready to move into my dream home. One that I choose based on what I wanted for my life – not one that I moved into because I was starting school in a week and I had to move ASAP.
I am excited for this next step of expansion. What happens on the other side? I will let you know. When I am sitting on the terrace, drinking rose watching the sunset at the end of the day something tells me even when the next roadblock that I have put up for myself appears I will remember this move forward and remind myself that everything is going to be just fine.
Make a shift towards something you want today – even if it feels like the craziest thought you could possibly have. Let all the thoughts come – the positive and the negative. Talk yourself out of it 1000 more times even, but think it anyway.