Merriam-Webster defines success:
: the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame
: the correct or desired result of an attempt
: someone or something that is successful : a person or thing that succeeds
I don't know about you but it took me a very long time to see myself as a success. I still struggle with the idea that I am “successful.” After all, what does that even mean? I have spent many hours redefining what success means and here’s what I’ve come up with: Success is a state of mind not to be defined by those around you but by the way you define yourself.
We see so many things outside of ourselves that society deems “successful.” If you’re balancing your career and plunging forward, have happy, well adjusted and drug-free kids, if you have kids period, own your home, pay your bills on time, are debt free, never drink too much, have a 401k that’s in good shape along with the rest of your portfolio, exercise daily, have a well balanced diet, and of course communicate with your partner in a way that allows you to rest and feel understood all the time. One quick glimpse through your Facebook or Instagram feed would lead you to believe that there are lots of these “successful” people out there, and you’re just not one of them.
The truth is, the only thing in that laundry list that we actually have full control over is how we see ourselves. If we come up with our own definitions of “success” we’ll find that we have nothing to feel badly about and that we are already a success in so many ways.
How you see yourself in relationship to others and in the world is personal. Often times we get tripped up in the shoulda’. I shoulda done…, I shoulda been a…,
I shoulda known better… . Shoulda keeps us tied to the past. Shoulda keeps us from seeing the future. Shoulda keeps us from looking at who we are right now and acknowledging that maybe just getting out of the bed this morning and getting our asses to work or getting our kids to school or walking the dog is actually a major success.
You are interesting, thoughtful, real, fabulous - already. I recently took a course where they asked us to consider, “How would you behave if you believed you were the best in the world at what you do?” Try believing that about everything you do, from getting out of bed to walking your dog. See how you feel, I have a feeling this little shift might just change everything. Let me know.
Have a great day girl,