What are you afraid of?


“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

Nelson Mandela

Hey, we are all afraid of something. It is different for everyone and there is no universal fear to speak of - but we are all afraid of something. In my work what I find people to be the most afraid of is expressing their feelings. It is something that seems so simple yet is the very most difficult thing we are required to do - understand ourselves and express what we are thinking.

If you watched Brene Brown’s TED talk on vulnerability you will agree with her, as do I, that this may possibly be one of the biggest fears we face. Vulnerability, allowing yourself to be completely in the moment, in tune with your feelings and then actually expressing them and NOT being tortured to do so  - well that is something.

So you’re afraid: to ask for a raise, to move, to tell your partner that you love them, to tell your partner that you no longer love them, to open up to anyone about what you want, about what you no longer want, to quit your job, to get a dog, to have a baby, to tell everyone you don’t want to have a baby, to have a negative feeling towards someone that you publicly love…

The list goes on and on - what would you do if you were not afraid? How would you feel? Once we move past what were are afraid of we will encounter something else that will present a similar feeling and situation - but this next time we may not dwell so long on taking the leap.

When we take a breath and sink into who we really are and what we really are feeling in the moment - assuming we know what that is - we are giving ourselves a gift. It is the gift of integration. It takes a long time to integrate all the parts of ourselves and feel whole. The more thoughts we have, the more feelings we allow ourselves, the easier it becomes to express yourself. When we allow ourselves the gift of all of our thoughts (and I am talking about those shitty thoughts too) we are closer to becoming whole.

So the thing is, be afraid and be brave enough to take the risk. There will be just as many shitty thoughts on the other side along with all the amazing feelings of relief that you did it. The tension will be released, some memories may be stirred up but Girl, you will be really proud of yourself for Being Brave.